Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
