Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
