Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
