forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
