yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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