The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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