Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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