i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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