Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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