operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
