i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
