Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
