Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
