Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
