chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
