You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
did you just send me my own nude
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
