I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
