Buhtt sex?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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