You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
