I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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