Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
