Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
