You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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