If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
