Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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