Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
