Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
