check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
