Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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