if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize