bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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