i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
