marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
