He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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