we're blogging at a bar
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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