Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
