i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
