i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
