now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Welp...herpes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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