oh god the rape fog is back!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
