Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
