Me too!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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