I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
