So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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