My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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