Your tits are I can't wait for
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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