The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm always down for nudity.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
