people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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