He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize