Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
