I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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