I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
false alarm, still single
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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