Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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