i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
