My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
