are you so shy because you have an std?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dicks are not precious.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
